You exceed expectations. You ghost burnout. You optimize until your soul starts buffering—now with structure.
This heavyweight, garment-dyed tee is embroidered with “High Performance. Low Morale.” for high achievers who silently scream in calendar invites. It’s thick, breathable, and broken-in from the start—like your optimism.
Made with premium U.S. cotton that holds its shape longer than your last career pivot. Relaxed fit. Satire included.
Wear it to:
✔️ All-hands you weren’t consulted for
✔️ Skip levels that go nowhere
✔️ Dinner with friends who think you got promoted
• 100% ring-spun cotton
• 6.1 oz/yd² heavyweight fabric
• Garment-dyed, pre-shrunk
• Relaxed fit with structured drape
• Double-needle hems and twill-taped shoulders for durability
• Blank product sourced from Honduras
Disclaimer:
• Each piece is made to order—because we don’t bulk-produce burnout.
• Please allow extra time for fulfillment. Satire takes time.
• Thanks for choosing quality, irony, and breathable sarcasm.
You exceed expectations. You ghost burnout. You optimize until your soul starts buffering—now with structure.
This heavyweight, garment-dyed tee is embroidered with “High Performance. Low Morale.” for high achievers who silently scream in calendar invites. It’s thick, breathable, and broken-in from the start—like your optimism.
Made with premium U.S. cotton that holds its shape longer than your last career pivot. Relaxed fit. Satire included.
Wear it to:
✔️ All-hands you weren’t consulted for
✔️ Skip levels that go nowhere
✔️ Dinner with friends who think you got promoted
• 100% ring-spun cotton
• 6.1 oz/yd² heavyweight fabric
• Garment-dyed, pre-shrunk
• Relaxed fit with structured drape
• Double-needle hems and twill-taped shoulders for durability
• Blank product sourced from Honduras
Disclaimer:
• Each piece is made to order—because we don’t bulk-produce burnout.
• Please allow extra time for fulfillment. Satire takes time.
• Thanks for choosing quality, irony, and breathable sarcasm.
